OMG, , I found out that I'm allergic to the pill and my boyfriend is allergic to condoms. LOL!
on 2015-04-19 08:32:57
OMG, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend with a serenade. After I finished, she told me she'd come over to tell me she'd found someone else and wanted to break up. LOL!
on 2015-04-18 21:03:59
OMG, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. LOL!
on 2015-04-18 19:55:16
OMG, I discovered why my pet bird has been hiding behind my couch pillow lately. It's not because she was nesting, as I thought. She's been secretly tearing apart the whole couch from behind there instead. LOL!
on 2015-04-18 15:34:20
OMG, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." LOL!
on 2015-04-18 12:45:14
OMG, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. LOL!
on 2015-04-18 10:38:45
OMG, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. LOL!
on 2015-04-18 03:01:41
OMG, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. LOL!
assault and imnotracistbuttery
on 2015-04-18 00:57:12
OMG, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. LOL!
on 2015-04-17 23:15:27
OMG, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. LOL!
on 2015-04-17 23:12:25
OMGmyLOL! - always seeing the funny side -
- v0.beta - based on parsed data from