OMG, I realized out how sad my love life is when I got excited that the number a girl gave me turned out to really be hers. LOL!
on 2015-05-30 01:40:41
OMG, my dad met my boyfriend. It took less than 10 seconds for him to accuse my boyfriend of being a "queer" because his handshake was "too limp". LOL!
on 2015-05-30 00:23:58
OMG, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. LOL!
on 2015-05-29 23:51:40
OMG, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. LOL!
on 2015-05-29 23:07:43
OMG, I went to a fancy beauty parlor to prepare for my sister's birthday party. The minute I stepped out of the salon, with my hair beautifully trimmed and curled, a bird decided to use it as a toilet. LOL!
on 2015-05-29 22:39:28
OMG, I realized that a classmate and I have the same glasses. To prove it, I tried bending his glasses, since mine are flexible and can bend. I snapped his glasses in half. LOL!
on 2015-05-29 22:31:39
OMG, on my second day as a lifeguard, I locked myself out of the pool. My angry guests and I had to wait for 45 minutes for my manager to arrive and unlock the gate. LOL!
on 2015-05-29 21:34:38
OMG, at my daughter's wedding celebration, I was doing a Michael Jackson act with a few buddies. It went well until I did the crotch-grab. I yanked my balls too hard and fell to the floor, writhing in agony in front of nearly 70 guests. LOL!
not a kiddy fiddler really
on 2015-05-29 16:15:49
OMG, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. LOL!
on 2015-05-29 15:18:40
OMG, my girlfriend bought two tickets for a cruise to the Bahamas. Too bad the second ticket isn't for me. I guess her ex-boyfriend will have a wonderful time with her. LOL!
on 2015-05-29 14:28:29
OMGmyLOL! - always seeing the funny side -
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