OMG, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. LOL!
on 2015-09-04 13:01:35
OMG, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. LOL!
on 2015-09-04 12:27:10
OMG, my boyfriend has been sulking like a moody kid all day, all because I won't set my phone background to a picture of his dick. LOL!
on 2015-09-04 11:58:43
OMG, my dick of a neighbor tried to file a noise complaint against me, all because I have the flu and am sneezing a lot. LOL!
on 2015-09-04 11:48:32
OMG, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. LOL!
on 2015-09-04 10:54:23
OMG, I met my Canadian friend at the airport. As we were heading into the city, I told him not to worry about all the US stereotypes and that gun crime in my city is rare. A few hours later, we witnessed a guy get shot in the street in broad daylight. Now he's too scared to leave the house. LOL!
on 2015-09-04 10:30:15
OMG, I was getting ready to go out with my family. As I was putting my phone in my purse, my father told me I wouldn't need it because we were going to spend 'quality time' together. The entire time I was there, everyone was staring at their phone. I was the only one without one. LOL!
on 2015-09-04 10:15:13
OMG, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. I got a hold of the girl he was cheating on me with. She was as oblivious as I was of each other's existence. Apparently, the fucker told her he lived with his "sister," who's "a bitch and makes his life impossible". He was referring to me. LOL!
on 2015-09-04 00:40:33
OMG, while making out in my car, the guy I was with decided it'd be a great idea to stick his tongue in my ear. He shoved it in so far that my ear still feels wet four hours later. LOL!
on 2015-09-03 21:30:23
OMG, I found my dog drinking out of the toilet. My daughter was next to him, also drinking from the toilet. LOL!
on 2015-09-03 21:06:29
OMGmyLOL! - always seeing the funny side -
- v0.beta - based on parsed data from